What discipline strategies will be helpful?
There are many positive parenting strategies – too many to cover here. If you really want more information in this area, it is suggested that you seek assistance from a family counselor, parent educator, or through reading parenting books. Several excellent books on parenting skills are included in the Resources section of this module.
Here are some general principles you might want to look into further:
- State disapproval of teasing or “put-downs” – Make it a rule in your house that teasing is not allowed. Talk about this expectation at family meetings. Tell them that an apology is good, but it can’t every make the hurt completely go away.
- Reward children who play together nicely – Remember, some kids may not know what to do except fight. You might have to review some basic social skills with them (sharing, asking to play with something/someone, taking turns) – and then reward these things when you see them! (Verbally praise them, give them hugs, use stickers or point charts, etc.)
- Use Time Out – When things really get out of hand, Time Out can be an excellent teaching tool. SOS! Help For Parents is an excellent book that gives a detailed explanation of how to do Time Out correctly.
- Time-out toys – This is a great strategy when there is a fight over belongings. When children fight over a toy – it can be very powerful to remove the toy instead of the child from the situation. You can use a timer to remind yourself when the toy can be used again.
- Logical Consequences – Make sure any consequences you choose to use are logically connected to the behavior. Remember that spanking and yelling are not logical ways to respond to fighting because they actually teach yelling and hitting as a way to solve problems! This is the opposite of what we are going for! For a thorough discussion of using logical and natural consequences for behavior, see Parenting With Love and Logic, by Cline and Fay.