FAQ #5

Computers need not play much of a role in the youngest child's life. However, it doesn't hurt for very young children to see family members using computers and enjoying themselves online—at a library, at a community center, or at home.

Stand-alone computers using CD-ROMs or other software (rather than online activities) are most likely to have what children this age need. Parenting magazines and some nonprofit organizations publish reviews of software that may be helpful.

Handy Tips

• Put your child in your lap as you "play" on the computer.
• Put your hand on your child's to show him or her the way the mouse works.
• Children like to play with the equipment: start slowly by letting them learn about the keyboard (some are especially designed for children), the mouse, etc.
• Look for books and children's video programs like Sesame Street that include images of children and family members using a computer. These can provide important exposure and encourage interest.

While serious computer use isn't a priority for these youngsters, children at this age can begin to make greater use of computer games and educational products. Once again, parents of children this age can look to CD-ROMs and other computer software for early computer learning. Older children in this age group can also begin exploring online children's sections with their parents. This kind of exposure with a young child is a great way for a parent to get involved with new media. Yes, children do learn intuitively and quickly, but at this age they still depend on parents for reading and interpreting directions. This makes a shared computer experience a valuable give and take experience.

Handy Tips

• Spend as much time as you can with your child while he or she uses the computer.
• Use actual experiences to demonstrate proper behavior and rules.
• Show lots of tangible results and achievements. For example, print work your child has done on the computer.
• Share an e-mail address with your child, so you can oversee his or her mail and discuss correspondence.
• As children go to school, check in with teachers so you can coordinate and reinforce school learning with home learning.
• Look to librarians and various parenting magazines for suggestions of good online activities.

This age is when children can begin to directly experience and appreciate more fully the potential of online experiences. Children can begin to use online encyclopedias and download pictures and graphics for school reports. They can also begin to have pen pals from many places, exchanging stories with far-away relatives and online friends, and even doing shared school projects.

It is also a very important age to set guidelines, teach values, and monitor closely what children are doing. As children move toward independence, it is important that you stay "hands-on" and help guide them to enriching and appropriate materials.

Another important reality is that children of this age are being targeted by programmers and advertisers as an important commercial market. Media literacy—helping children evaluate content and understand what's behind advertising—is an important skill to teach.

Handy Tips

• Set very clear rules for online use and clear consequences if they are broken.
• Instruct children not to order products or give out information about themselves or their family without your permission.
• Coordinate home with school activities.
• Teach children to let you know if they encounter anything scary or unusual online.
• Help children understand the nature of commercial information and how to think about it.
• Discuss some of the unique aspects of behavior in cyberspace-like anonymity and what it means for your child and for others.
• Watch the time. Use an alarm clock or timer if you or your child lose track of time.
• Watch your phone and credit card bills.

At this age, young people can use the more sophisticated research resources of the information superhighway, accessing everything from the Library of Congress' collection to magazines and newspapers to original letters and archives from around the globe. Similarly, they can work with people in remote places on shared projects and can learn from speaking online to leading authorities on nearly any subject. In addition, many young teenagers are interested in "chatting." Most online commercial services have chat rooms that are appropriate for preteens and teenagers. There, kids can chat (via typing on their computer) to others who share their interests. A parent's job is to stay in as close touch as possible (a tough task at times).

Handy Tips

• Since children this age are more likely to explore on their own, set up clear parental rules, limits, and periodic check-ins.
• Continue to explore together as much as possible.
• Give children a basic understanding of the laws governing online behavior and the consequences of breaking them.
• Set clear rules about which chat rooms are acceptable for your teenager, and how much time can be spent there.
• Be sure your children understand the actions that can be taken if people harass them online or do anything inappropriate.
• Set a budget for online expenses and monitor it.
• Pay particular attention to games that your teenager might download or copy. Many are great fun, but others are extremely violent. Parents need to set limits about what is acceptable and what is not.

The online world is a rich resource for older teens. They can receive information about job opportunities, internships, and colleges and universities; put together multimedia reports; get specialized help with a foreign language or a subject at school; and find out just about anything else that interests them. They are also ingenious explorers, discovering new areas online and often meeting new friends. Of course, along with teens' increased curiosity, capability, and freedom come more ways to run into unpleasant or undesirable experiences. As with other activities at this age, parents can still find creative ways to keep in touch with their teenage children about online activities, and this connection is still important.

Handy Tips

• Ask your teenager for help researching topics of interest to the family (follow-up on a family discussion, family vacation, a new purchase).
• Talk to your teenager about new things online and encourage discussion of new experiences.
• Make sure your teenager knows the legal implications of online behavior.
• Watch time limits to make sure your teenager is still pursuing a well-rounded set of activities.
• If your teenager is especially interested in computers, encourage him or her to help younger children with their online explorations (try the local Boys or Girls Club) or to help a school or nonprofit organization get set up.